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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of lethal weapon, Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years? LP, Opulence, Paradise, Colin, Postman, Two New Hands, Tracy, and 9 more.
1. |
Postman
02:54
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Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I don’t think I’ve had my aspirations through the post yet
Or forgot them years ago..
“Could you ask me another time?
I’m still not sure yet” – 25, 2016
Is the quote I'll repeat until I die
I used to be such a promising boy:
If I'd applied myself I'd probably be an astronaut
At least I never act my age so people don't expect much from me, if at all.
The blame is heavy if it's mine
So I say this is all I need.
If happiness is a portable 16 track home studio
Then I guess I’m happy most the time
I just need something for when I'm outside
And in the events where I close my eyes
Self aware but paralysed
How do people find the time?
They find success,
They enjoy their lives
I used to be such a promising boy
If I'd just applied myself I'd probably be a hypocrite
I used to be so much less of a prick,
I used to have dreams that were realistic,
Now I don't know what I need
But Ive always wanted to be a postman, I told them that at the interview
But I think my genuine ardour
Must have been misconstrued
As sarcasm when in reality id never meant something so much
And I still check the royal mail website
With eyes adorned in a glaze of lust
But it's just a dream, it couldn't be, I'm just an average
Joe, just admit you could be a wicked postman
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2. |
Erstwhile
02:12
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They'll hang our bodies
On rails, like coats
I can't help but feel as though
We're just options - we don't know
We're blank canvas
I'm so bored up here...
Part of an assortment of disguise
A veneer to a decaying crown
of cavernous demise
I'm so vacant I don't feel like
I'm occupying space
Unencumbered, i'm a trace
Derelict and never locked
Waiting, silent until this stops
We roll as listless marbles
Traipse as torpid torpedoes
We're the defiled land at the foot of
Demolitions for new homes
I'm so bored up here...
The erstwhile swinging dick
of this corporation spits at me
as we both hang from this
clothes horse of drying skin
Beckoned into our demise
I don't think i'm meant to be here
An assortment of disguise
I'm lost here
I hope i don't die beside them
Hollowed and dry
I know I know i can leave but
I forget to try
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3. |
Colin
02:11
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Jack's wide eyed with the dead
It's night, so he stares into a pillow
He counts a thread with each regret
Until sunlight fills his window.
Colin's early, drinking tea
Life deep into an old routine
He smiles when the first words jack speaks
Are "i wish i was something different"
He said "it could be worse, you could be just like me?"
Be humble
Be modest
Be no one
Be honest
Be patient
They want it
They'll find it
Oh forget it
You're nothing!
And you'll live here your whole life, like Colin!
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4. |
Paradise Pt.I
03:02
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“Remember me Joe? Where are we?”
I won’t breathe this ash in anymore
We’re both asthmatic!
If you won’t acknowledge my grip
I won’t drag you out of here
Even though you’re lying.
If you’d look up you’d see it’s raining outside
I’ll miss your face but here you seldom smile.
We’re stagnant in paradise
It rains all the time
But it won’t when I build mine.
I won’t wilt for fear of change
I would wait but they think it’s all too late for them
Stacking shelves to fill stock days
To distract your habitual existence and quotidian shame
If you’d look up you’d see it’s raining outside
I’ll miss your face but here you seldom smile.
We’re stagnant in paradise
It rains all the time
But it won’t when I build mine.
You’re all derelict!
It’s such a shame but we’re not the same here
Oh well!
You have it on good authority
I will never come back
I’ll miss your face but here you seldom smile (overlap 1)
Stagnant in paradise it rains all the time (overlap 2)
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5. |
Paradise Pt.II
02:08
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We’re not wrong we’re just biting our tongues
And aren’t we all fucking parasites?
We all live in the ash and the smog of this bulldozered paradise.
We merged a plethora of separate panics into one problem we’re collectively sharing.
When you asked quietly “where are we Joe?”
And I said “What? Yeah you look fine!”
I was just evading what I know to be bleak discontent with my life.
But it’s too late for me
And you don’t need me to help you
You’ll find a way through
And I don’t want you to help me
I’m dead already
Of course I feel you tug at my arm – it’s distracting!
I’m not lost I’m just not looking up
I don’t need you to guide me
We are all statues stuck in our shame
just let us rust here without you
Go and build your new paradise
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6. |
Plant
04:01
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This tenement is alien, it’s bustling with life
Children warp these steel exterior stairs
With a blithe stampede that leaves me terrified
Humans hum a most peculiar type of din
It must be what moves the wind
Is it what dries my roots?
Or is it this covered landing with little natural light?
This tenement is derelict, the children have died
It’s so quiet up here I smile
The only hum of humans left is their tumble of litter
My friends and family are in the courtyard below
And they speak with words I know
They drink the rain and grow
It’s so beautiful to see from this height
I'm so tall i'll never meet you
As the awning deflects most my water
I have grown wilted and limp
But I watch as they reclaim this landscape
I am cheering them on,
As loud as a smile
I'm so tall i'll never meet you
But i hope you notice me
Every leaf that I leak
Is a word I would speak
If I knew how to talk
I hope they reach you ok
I hope you say them for me
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7. |
Pulse
02:16
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We fade in on a rope
An apathetic metronome
With typical to-and-fro’s
We barely note the twines’ corrode
Creaking audio fades in
End of scene
“should we show the body drop or just let them think that it will”?
We cut to a crowd
They’re watching a puppet show which never stops
They cheer and applaud
Slow zoom on a rope
It’s thin & worn
Creaking audio fades in
Close-up shot of the puppets face
It’s tired, aged and bored
It gently swings in and out of view
Alternating with shots of the crowds beaming hue of hope and glee
As they watch they don’t think about the way the puppet feels
But it’s all they need.
I just sway
Exactly as they made me to behave
I’m just a pulse
Upside down, my crown is dripping
And I could reach the ground
I could scoop all that shit up again
But I’m too tired to try and change myself.
So I swing here redundantly, patient until fade out.
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8. |
Strange
02:27
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Feeding the starved opportunist
on a steady diet of fingernails and surrounding skin
just enough to keep him quiet
I know i'm a little bit strange.
But I'll keep quiet and you don't have to say anything.
And this typhoon of bumbling ineptitude
might deflate to just a gust in this room
I'm getting better at leaving,
I'm a familiar sound in a colloquial din.
I am a compromise.
I know i'm a little bit strange.
But I'll keep quiet and you don't have to say anything.
And this typhoon of bumbling ineptitude
might deflate to just a gust in this room
Everything's on loan, we are interim
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9. |
Eddy
02:16
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Eddy asked me what's my suffering and then I told a lie
I said "I haven't any".
He said "you're so beautiful"
As i lit his cigarette he looked at me with his whole soul
Through eyes that seemed to never rest but plead for a home
He asked me if I wanted to and as I said no
I could taste the whole of his breath and stepped back into the road
I said "my friends are waiting i should go" and made to walk around him
As i got a little further up the street he saw me look back at him
I found a fascination in my toes
To keep me busy until he goes
I must look so scared
I bet he thinks I'm scared of him
I bet he's scared to death himself
We're hardly in the same boat though,
Eddy's body washed up the next day
I never got to thank him and say you're beautiful too
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10. |
Holidays
02:52
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Innumerable future selves lean to form an audience, keen to hear the result.
They’ll wait for hours to be betrayed –Restless.
Too scared to blink or speak at all,
I fumble everything for a home crowd - stuck in their thick berating din.
If they could speak they’d help me out:
Tell me what I’m supposed to do and think.
You’re a barricade of charisma; I don’t know how to talk to you
You’re a catapulted whisper splattering on flags of truce
I have allegiances to characters I am now too old to be
I spend the bulk of my free time pining, wishing & worrying.
It feels a lot like:
- Getting back from a holiday you liked;
- Reluctant small talk with a friend you were once much closer with;
- Reluctant small talk with a colleague you feel you know too much about.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not how you feel but it’s all that you are, boy.
It’s a lot like:
- Waking up, when you’d rather be asleep;
- Having things to think about when you’d rather sleep, to dream.
It’s alarming we’re so calm
As we erode to lesser forms.
Far from ideal – we’ll say “it’s fine!”
It’s not how we feel it’s just all that we are now.
It feels a lot like:
- Getting back from a holiday you liked;
- Reluctant small talk with a friend you were once much closer with;
- Reluctant small talk with a colleague you feel you know too much about.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not ideal. It’s only fine.
It’s not how you feel but it’s all that you are, boy.
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11. |
Margaret
03:16
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Margaret says she's saving for her funeral
As I fumble down the line she thanks me for my call
I thank her for her time
She said "no not at all"
Margaret's death is impeding yet she's still thinking about finances
And I'm getting paid for our phone call
By noon, I'm home
I sit and think about Margaret
And how long she's got left
Then I think about myself
And how long I've got,
Wonder if I'll waste it
Then I think about something else
Will I die waiting patient
Or die in the grave
No one's important
No one stays
When I grow up I wanna die like Margaret
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12. |
Tracy
03:09
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Christmas fills the road as a graveyard,
Forgotten was its gone-rancid repertoire
Wilted on the lawn, I see Tracy
Toppled from her throne completely
I step over her body as i leave for work
I step over her body when I come home
Her calls to me are rustles in the wind's blow
I can't hear as i watch her from my window
Nobody is coming for Tracy.
We'll let her rot.
We've finished but she doesn't yet know.
As poachers. we only want the tusks
Not what comes with them.
Tracy used to have a few friends they'd talk over the fence about their holidays
They'd try to catch the eye of heaven's truck
It's stopped coming now, Tracy never got picked up
This February snow's a quilt of irony
But she's happy in this coat and turns to smile at me
She remembers her old clothes and fancy jewellery
Then wonders why she's so cold
And turns away from me.
Nobody is coming for Tracy.
We'll let her rot.
We've finished but she doesn't yet know.
As poachers. we only want the tusks
Not what comes with them.
Tracy I don't know if I can help you
Tracy's just a little lost
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13. |
Little Todd
04:05
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Little Todd has his wish decided
Before the song asks his age
Has his eyes on the gifts,
Mum says “you’ve got to start with the cards”
Little Todd takes his mother aside,
Says “I’m my own man now”
Blows all five of his candles out, kisses her cheek
Says “take care mum!”
Little Todd heads to the King of the World
Says “you look a little lost.
Yeah, I’m just five but i'll take it from here”
The king takes the crown from his head
Gives Todd a knowing nod,
Takes a deep sigh then says
“You’ve got it, Todd”
Little Todd drew a picture
Passed it down as his first command
Ministers whisper conferred qualms
But ultimately just shrug and say
“Well, he is the king of the world!
And these are his commands…
Who are we to defy? we know our place!”
They say their goodbyes
Little Todd destroyed the world in a week
He said ”I didn’t mean it”
Oh good try, Todd! You’re only five!
Little Todd only ever took his advice:
“I should get what I want!”
As we all die, at least he had a good go.
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14. |
Opulence
03:17
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I sulk upon the peak of a fortune and flick through
Rolling hills then empty stations but never see you
The opulence of this carriage was once alluring
Now it’s so blinding I can’t see a way out of it
I make to leave when I hear the whistles
But you’re not there, we don’t stop
Once I swear I saw a body on the platform
But windows smear and we don’t stop
As we determine our stars they’re already dead
We’re chasing distance with broken legs
I’m in the squall of its departure as I enter the station,
It was coming to save me..
Now I’m cumbrous on all fours, stacked
Crawling up the train track
Trying to chase the train that won’t ever wait
But what if I make it?
Once I swear I saw a face at the window…
The hands on the throat know it’s already dead
They just won’t let me go
As my head drops, languid
The train charges past me.
It was coming to save me…
When I wake up on the platform
There are no sounds, no people
I slide on to the tracks and walk
Trying to find the next stop,
The whir of wind and whistles
And if I don’t make it
I can try again
I always try again
Loops never end
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15. |
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Let the walls breathe with you
That rattle's just the ratchet in your lungs churning air out
Let the curtains persuade their pulse
You'll dream in caveats which don't seem to stop you
Oh, just take your medicine and sleep!
You're only gonna wake up!
What are you scared for?
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